You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
