i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
