How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
