Got a toothbrush?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
