Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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