her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
