A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Randomize
