WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
