You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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