is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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