4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
