You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize