I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
