$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
