we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
