so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize