he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
