even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
