Its about making memories worth repressing
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
