No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Randomize
