Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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