I feel like I'm in dance class right now
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
