Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
The uberlube is also flammable
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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