seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
