Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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