I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
