if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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