I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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