I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
