I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
