How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
