So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
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The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
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Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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