Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
