dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
