Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
