so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
We need to get me chipped asap
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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