she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
There are leaves in my underwear?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
