Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
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