I want to have your abortion
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Randomize
