OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
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