I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
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