The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
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