What did we do last night that was yellow?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
splinters make it hard to masturbate
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Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
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Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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