Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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