this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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