She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
accomplished twins. life is a go
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
