He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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