I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
