I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
