But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
