508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
