Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
