Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize