i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
