It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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