I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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