i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
