Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
